tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15703509402264656002024-03-07T23:54:39.121-05:00Grow HappyTools I've found and tested to help me build my happy, abundant lifejulieannericksonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09394952666669781213noreply@blogger.comBlogger139125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1570350940226465600.post-63372556172585296642013-06-02T22:52:00.000-04:002013-06-02T22:52:00.849-04:00How to get happy: put in some real effortAgain I am reminded by life that happiness is a choice, and it takes real effort to reach a happy state. <br />
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Over the winter, I was not very happy. I was tired, sick with bronchitis forever, lonely, in pain from my arthritis, sad because one of my cats died, and feeling out of control of my life. This is perhaps the definition of not-happiness. <br />
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Because I choose to be happy, this was not good enough for me. So I took action. Action that I didn't particularly want to take. Because it took effort, and I was TIRED. Sometimes it just is like that. I just wanted to read books, watch TV, and feel miserable.<br />
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Actually, I didn't want to feel miserable. After a while, misery does need company. So I started by talking to a couple of people about being unhappy. Immediately, I felt better - even if I didn't have any answers to the cause of my unhappiness. By taking an action, putting in some effort - because it was a real effort to open my mouth and say things that made me feel vulnerable - I felt better. I was on my own side. I saw that I would take care of me, so I could start trusting me again.<br />
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I have plenty of people who love me, I just have to let them know what's going on. And I then need to listen to what they say - suggestions, feedback, ideas. Openmindedness is a key to my happiness, as well. "I know that" is 3 words that shut out other people, close down communication, and halt the exchange of energy that is the very lifeblood of happiness. So I listened, and said "thank you, I hadn't thought of that." <br />
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One suggestion was to cut out gluten, and that would reduce inflammation which would reduce pain. That completely worked. OMG. I couldn't believe I had resisted the suggestion for so long. Again, on my own side. Choosing my own highest good. <br />
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I decided to focus on all the wonderful things I can eat, so I would embrace my new diet. If I thought about what I can't have, I'd feel deprive, angry, and more rebellious - therefore more likely to sabotage my health.<br />
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I also was told to get back on all my supplements. I had stopped a few. So I'm back on them, and feel better. I don't necessarily feel physically better - maybe a little bit - but I do feel more on my own side. I'm taking care of myself. And I got a chest x-ray, that showed no problems, so maybe it is allergies after all. I stopped worrying, which helps a lot!<br />
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The last thing I did was get 2 kittens. I just trusted the universe to send kittens my way if it was the right thing for me and my old boy cat (who's 15 1/2). And I was sent Pretzel and Cirra. I haven't laughed so much in years. They are hilarious, and exactly the right thing for me.<br />
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It all takes effort. Reaching out to people. Looking at the bright side on purpose. Taking the actions to care for myself. And opening myself up to new love and laughter.<br />
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So today I'm happy.julieannericksonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09394952666669781213noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1570350940226465600.post-89524469964356170802011-10-30T11:40:00.000-04:002011-10-30T11:40:00.536-04:00Shedding Pounds AgainI hate losing weight. I like shedding pounds. I like releasing unnecessary pounds. I like freeing my body from the burden of weight I no longer want or need.
So I'm back on the HCG diet. It's my third round and this time is surprisingly serene. I am simply taking it a day at a time, taking the homeopathic drops, eating according to the plan, and trusting the process. I'm using the scale as a way to record change, rather than as a scorekeeper.
The second time I did the HCG diet, it was REALLY hard. I struggled every day against urges to eat. I used that scale as a scoreboard. I was obsessed with getting below a specific number on the scale. I was determined to LOSE THIS WEIGHT. It was torture.
I did reach my pound goal, yet immediately on ending the diet, went back to eating sugar and other caloric things. I gained back half the weight I had lost. I found it again!
This time is different. I got completely off sugar a few months ago for other reasons than weight, so I don't have that temptation or detoxing to contend with. And I guess I just am going with the program day by day instead of being focused on the end result. Whatever I release, I release. I'm good with whatever I see on the scale at the end of the 23 days. I know that if I follow the program, I will shed pounds.
So I trust the process. It's the journey, not the destination, that motivates me this time.julieannericksonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09394952666669781213noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1570350940226465600.post-34619488530180248302011-10-28T11:31:00.002-04:002011-10-28T11:31:23.785-04:00Trust Your GutShe's out $1360 because she didn't trust her gut.
Such a sad tale and an expensive lesson. At least I hope it's a lesson.
E. sold a course to someone via Craig's List. She felt something was hinky because she hadn't gotten the money, yet he was insisting his assistant had overpaid for the course and he wanted E. to send him back $1360. Finally, she got the money orders and, being the honorable trusting person she is, sent him the $1360. Unfortunately, she learned that he paid with counterfeit money orders. So she's out $1360.
The thing is she knew in her gut it was a scam. Yet she listened to her mind and its logic and insanity. "Well, I did get the money so he must be on the up and up after all." "I am a good person so he must be, too." She ignored her gut that said "SCAM!!"
I hope this is her big lesson to listen to your gut regardless of what your mind is saying.
If your gut is saying "NO" even if your mind is saying "GO," you can take the time to gather enough information so your gut is satisfied. This means giving yourself more time to think through things, get things checked out so YOU are comfortable. That's the only thing that matters -- that YOU are comfortable. Even if other people are trying to rush you, you don't have to react to that. You get to RESPOND, which means you are coming from your solid inner place of comfort. In fact, you don't have to have a reason to not do something, other than "I don't feel comfortable with this."
Whenever I react, I make errors in judgement and execution. Even as simple a thing as rushing to get into my car to go somewhere - I spill the coffee or drop the book. This of course makes more work for me - wiping things up, picking it up from the garage floor. Not to mention if I spill in the car I could ruin something more permanently. If I take the time to secure these items, they don't spill and I don't make extra work for myself.
Why am I rushing? Because I think other people are waiting for me, I'll be late, they'll be angry or disappointed, and I don't want to cause that or suffer from their reactions. Rushing may or may not get me there more quickly. I probably need to look at how much time I allot myself to travel, so I don't have to rush. It gets to root causes, instead of reactions to situations I may create myself.
E. just got a huge, expensive, nasty lesson in taking her time to get comfortable, instead of reacting to this guy's hysteria and extreme pushiness. She KNEW it was a scam. If she'd listened to her gut, she'd have taken different actions, like waiting for his money orders to clear before sending anything out to him - regardless of his pushiness, which was a red flag for her.
Learning to trust your gut is probably an important lesson for all of us - getting out of your head and into your gut. I learned to trust mine through simple things like following my gut feeling not to go a certain way. Even if my head said "that's the shortest way," I listened. The more I practiced it, the more comfortable I became with trusting my gut. I started to see that every time I ignored my gut feeling, something undesirable happened. So I extended the practice into other areas of my life.
Gut feeling, intuition, whatever - we all have this capacity to get guidance from our bodies and inner selves. This guidance is essential to my happy life.julieannericksonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09394952666669781213noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1570350940226465600.post-33463665940840338742011-09-22T12:16:00.000-04:002011-09-20T10:43:55.946-04:00More on TwitterPeople often have visceral negative reactions against Twitter. They don’t get it and thus may condemn it. Tim Berry has a great blog post on the topic <a href="http://timberry.bplans.com/2009/06/twitter-pitter-patter-twop-hating-twitter.html/comment-page-1#comment-34854"><span style="font-weight:bold;">Twitter Pitter Patter Twop: Hating Twitter.</span></a><br />
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People ask me “why are you on Twitter?” I tell them that it’s like the office water cooler for stay/work-at-homes like me, that it helps me make people aware of my blog and drives traffic there so I can help more people, and that I get lots of great information about my field and the world. These reasons make sense to them. When they understand why I tweet, they stop being so judgmental about it. I explain that it’s a tool that I use as part of my business model. <br />
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While they still don’t understand why THEY might tweet, every single one asks me to help them get on Twitter. It takes about five minutes. I'll explain how in my next post.<br />
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I think context is incredibly important to Twitter. If you have a reason to tweet - to drive traffic, to publicize a project or book, to hire someone, to spread news, to market a product, to handle customer complaints, to raise your public profile - then you end up embracing it. <br />
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Twitter does take time. Is it a time waster? Only if we let it be…as with every single other business tool and task there is in this world of ours.julieannericksonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09394952666669781213noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1570350940226465600.post-63549044957173265762011-09-21T14:04:00.000-04:002011-09-20T10:42:57.485-04:00TwitterPeople ask me "why are you on Twitter?" <br />
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My answers:<br />
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1) it is like the office water cooler for work/stay-at-home people like me so I don't feel so isolated<br />
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2) Twitter helps me drive traffic to my blog so I am able to help more people with their work issues.<br />
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3) I get great information to pass on to people looking for jobs, or guidance to become better leaders and workers. <br />
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4) My universe is larger because of the people with whom I interact, who tweet regularly, who post funny, odd, interesting, pertinent and personal information.julieannericksonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09394952666669781213noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1570350940226465600.post-38913753110684387152011-09-20T10:41:00.000-04:002011-09-20T10:41:20.014-04:00Starting with TwitterSIGNING UP FOR TWITTER<br />
* Go to http://www.twitter.com<br />
* Click on "Get Started" field<br />
* Follow directions: enter your full name, then your desired user name and password. Twitter will tell you if your user name is available and if your password is long enough, weak or OK.<br />
* Enter your e-mail address<br />
* Type in the words you see in the box. If you can't read them, just click to get two new ones until you can read them and enter them.<br />
* Click on the box "Create my account"<br />
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You'll then be taken to a page where you can find if your e-mail contacts are on Twitter. If you want, you can skip this step. If you want to see if your pals are tweeting, you will sign in using your <span style="font-weight:bold;">e-mail</span> user name and password - not your Twitter user name and password. Enter your password and hit "enter."<br />
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If you skip that step, you'll reach a page titled "Look who else is here. Start following them!" You also can skip this step by clicking "skip this step" at the bottom of the page. If you instead hit "finish" you will have automatically followed everyone listed. The people listed are either celebrities, news organizations or tweeters with lots of followers. <br />
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The default is to "Select All" so if you want to select only some, you need to click on the "select all" button to unselect everyone and then scroll through to manually the people (or tweeps, twitter peeps) you want to follow. The reason to select at least some people to follow is to begin getting tweets on your Twitter page (also known as your Twitterstream). <br />
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If you don't select anyone to follow at this stage, you still have many opportunities to find people to follow. I'll describe the mechanisms later in this post.<br />
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Click "finish" when you are done. You will then be taken to your very own Twitter page. <br />
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There will be a default avatar (picture icon). Click on it to be taken to a page where you can add your own picture. After uploading and saving your preferred photograph, you will see that you can also look at "Settings" and change the color or design of your background. <br />
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Once you are on your home page, you can begin "tweeting." Tweets are the name given to your updates. Updates are 140 characters long. That includes spaces and punctuation. <br />
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On the Twitter home page is a large text box underneath the question "What are you doing?" On its upper right is the number "140" in gray. As you type your message, you will observe the number declining. As you approach the 140-character limit, the color of the number changes gradually to bright red until you reach "0" characters remaining. If you exceed the 140-character limit, you will see a negative red number. As you edit your tweet, the number will reflect the number of characters you have left.<br />
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Great tweets are any length. When I started, I used up all 140 characters. Now I try to keep my tweets at 120 characters or less. <br />
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The reason for tweets shorter than 140 characters is to allow my followers to "Retweet" or "RT" them. When someone retweets my tweet, they are passing it on to their network of followers. The retweet includes the characters RT, my user name preceded by the @ sign (as in @juliaerickson), a colon and a space. It looks like this: RT @juliaerickson: followed by the message. That takes up 19 characters right away. <br />
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If I want someone to get the full meaning of my tweet when they see it retweeted, I need to keep my tweet at 120 characters or less. Less is good because then the retweeter (RTer) can make a comment, such as "Yes!" or "ditto" or "I agree" or "fun" or whatever endorsement or additional thought they have.<br />
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Tweet topics range from the ridiculous to the sublime with the mundane and useful being most common. Because I want to drive traffic to my blog helping job seekers, I have a standard message that I tweet several times a day. It is "job search tools and guidance that really work at http://ow.ly/4RLP (julieannerickson.blogspot.com)" with no period at the end (why waste characters?). I also tweet about a charity that I support, at least once a day. It is "click 2 feed hungry http://thehungersite.com + help child health, literacy, rainforest, animals, mammograms - no cost 2 u" also with no period at the end.<br />
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These two tweets tend to be retweeted often, I think because they provide some kind of value or good to the "twitterverse." Other things that are often retweeted: funny tweets, inspirational quotes, hot news items (e.g. lots of tweets and RTs today and yesterday about the Iran election), contests, and charity-related tweets.<br />
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Why is retweeting important? It's a way to expand your twitterverse, specifically to increase the number of followers you have. And why do you want more followers? To reach more people with your messages. <br />
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Retweeting is also a way to develop relationships. If you RT someone, they usually thank you for RTing them, because you are spreading their message and identity/brand to your network of followers. It's like doing someone a favor or them doing one for you. You start to develop a sense of people, who they are, whether they are generous or not, whether you want to interact with them more often. <br />
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“You Need 4 Things to Profit from Twitter”<br />
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You need followers.<br />
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No matter how compelling your Tweets, if nobody is following you, nobody will read them. To create a steady flow of visitors to your site and profits, you need thousands of followers.<br />
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You need readers.<br />
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Having followers only builds your ego, not your bank account. If you want to make a profit you need to have followers that are actually reading your tweets.<br />
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You need credibility.<br />
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If you want people to respond to your tweets and take the actions that put money in your pocket, you have to be someone those readers trust.<br />
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You need products.<br />
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Nobody makes a profit until someone buys something. <br />
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http://www.crn.com/it-channel/217900164;jsessionid=BMUEDS3SZECJ4QSNDLOSKH0CJUNN2JVN Dissecting Twitter's Role In Tech, Society, Politics 140 Characters Conference in New York, led by entrepreneur and tech pioneer Jeff Pulver,julieannericksonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09394952666669781213noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1570350940226465600.post-6042624302597843772011-07-28T13:53:00.001-04:002011-07-28T13:53:51.018-04:009 Step Road Map: How to Find Your "Right Fit" Job <a href="http://bit.ly/otodhe">http://bit.ly/otodhe</a>julieannericksonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09394952666669781213noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1570350940226465600.post-28307058709579098082011-06-15T13:33:00.001-04:002011-06-15T13:34:20.223-04:00Shedding PoundsI recently shed about 50 pounds I put on over a five year period when my 6 year old nephew died of brain cancer, I was fired for no reason from a job I loved for 11 years, lost another job because it wasn't the "right fit", and then became physically disabled from back and hip surgeries. <br />
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As I rebuilt my life, I consoled myself with food. And of course, the food wasn't the solution. It ended up creating more problems. My back and hip hurt more. I didn't like how I looked and couldn't bring myself to buy many nice articles of clothing. It was depressing! And my health was at risk. We have diabetes, cancer and hypertension in our family...with weight a primary risk factor for each.<br />
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It was clear that I had to do something. Three years ago, I did lose 25 pounds the traditional "eat less, exercise more" method. But I put much of it back on over the next year. At age 52, it seemed impossible to lose so much. Yet I had to! I was convinced that people looked at me and judged me as someone who didn't care about herself. And you know what? They were right. <br />
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I put my health and self-esteem at risk. So that's not very self-loving. And of course, I was deeply unhappy. Being unhappy is definitely a sign that I was not caring well for myself.<br />
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Luckily, a physician recommended that I try something quite radical: the HCG Diet. It's based on a program developed by a medical doctor in Italy over 16 years in the mid-20th century. Dr. ATW Simeons, created and studied the HCG diet in a clinic in Rome, publishing a report in 1954. <br />
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Dr. Simeons found that by taking human chorionic gonadotropin (HCG), a person can burn fat deposits as energy - about 1500 calories of fat burned a day. That means you can eat just 500 calories - and not be hungry! And you lose .5 to 1.5 pounds a day. Click here to go to the <a href="http://www.diyhcg.com?p=TX8HD&w=test">DIYHCG.com</a> site. You can get Dr. Simeons' manuscript there and order the homeopathic drops that work so well. Enter code TX8HD for 5% off!<br />
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It worked. In two cycles, I shed 47 pounds. I feel so proud of myself - because it was hard work sticking to that restricted diet plan. I look so much better, feel so much better, and am pretty happy with my weight. I have some more to go for health reasons (there was a lot of self-consoling going on), so I'll do another round of HCG in a month or so. My goal: to have the little Wii FitPlus voice say "that's normal!" when I get my weight.julieannericksonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09394952666669781213noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1570350940226465600.post-16551951033980141972011-06-05T23:37:00.001-04:002011-06-05T23:37:41.136-04:00Caution: If You're Not a Rock Star, Maybe LinkedIn's Skills Section Isn't For You Yet <a href="http://ping.fm/d6Uv3">http://ping.fm/d6Uv3</a>julieannericksonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09394952666669781213noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1570350940226465600.post-69446313442551944032011-05-24T19:40:00.001-04:002011-05-24T19:40:23.621-04:00How to Find a Career Based on Your Strengths, plus why it makes sense to do so <a href="http://bit.ly/lFJdUn">http://bit.ly/lFJdUn</a>julieannericksonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09394952666669781213noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1570350940226465600.post-84528954795777546542011-05-17T15:03:00.001-04:002011-05-17T15:03:09.698-04:00Use negotiation skills at work <a href="http://ping.fm/kfFm0">http://ping.fm/kfFm0</a>julieannericksonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09394952666669781213noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1570350940226465600.post-77662111697649690942011-05-16T16:35:00.001-04:002011-05-16T16:35:12.688-04:00Two Good Assumptions to Make During Job Search and what to do next <a href="http://bit.ly/jCVq1s">http://bit.ly/jCVq1s</a>julieannericksonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09394952666669781213noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1570350940226465600.post-31875020751904051482011-05-06T18:10:00.001-04:002011-05-06T18:10:00.924-04:00was mentioned in article about tweets after killing of obl (Osama bin Laden) <a href="http://ping.fm/zuta2">http://ping.fm/zuta2</a>julieannericksonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09394952666669781213noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1570350940226465600.post-47908577997877690602011-05-05T16:20:00.001-04:002011-05-05T16:20:49.710-04:00Job search is a marketing campaign. Market yourself effectively to employers via targeted search & materials. <a href="http://ping.fm/jV4Hu">http://ping.fm/jV4Hu</a>julieannericksonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09394952666669781213noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1570350940226465600.post-80047442417606100112011-05-04T19:47:00.003-04:002011-05-04T19:47:57.005-04:00Ending one job and looking for or starting another? You're in transition. Read William Bridges' book Transitions. Buy @ <a href="http://myrightfitjob">http://myrightfitjob</a>julieannericksonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09394952666669781213noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1570350940226465600.post-45267216676953833182011-05-04T19:47:00.001-04:002011-05-04T19:47:14.480-04:00It's all about your impact, to potential employers. Show them! <a href="http://ping.fm/KirgA">http://ping.fm/KirgA</a>julieannericksonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09394952666669781213noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1570350940226465600.post-66818895161779446752011-01-26T18:34:00.000-05:002011-01-26T18:34:39.041-05:00You Don't Have to Try So HardA friend talked to me today about her "malaise" - not feeling like trying anymore. As she said, "Trying definitely is trying!" <br />
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It prompted me to remember when I stopped trying so very hard to achieve whatever. <br />
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I stopped when I got really sick of being disappointed over and over again. I also realized that perhaps I was missing serendipitous opportunities or experiences by being so focused on what I wanted to happen. <br />
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It's difficult to let go of striving, especially living in a world that talks about "set a goal!" "don't procrastinate!" and "you control your destiny and life through your thoughts!" <br />
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I have come to see that I do have some control over my thoughts insofar as how I choose to view the world. Do I see it as a giant taskmaster, demanding great effort from me every hour? Or do I see it as a benevolent source of abundance that I can tap into when I am open to possibility and practice acceptance? I now choose the latter. It just feels better, honestly. Not so stressful or competitive. <br />
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That doesn't mean I have given up on dreams and intentions. Au contraire! I have many intentions and dreams, toward which I work every day. I simply gave up the time line and the pressure that brings. And I gave up the idea that I know how "it" should all turn out, and that I will only get my desired outcome if I work diligently and in a certain way. I do the next thing I can, check to see if it's aligned with my intention, and bid "adieu" to those thoughts that start pressuring me to "do more."<br />
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I love that my friend allowed me to be reminded that I really don't have to try so hard.julieannericksonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09394952666669781213noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1570350940226465600.post-34469566497791344362009-11-10T16:36:00.003-05:002009-11-10T16:46:02.778-05:00Business-Building: Identify Your MarketBeing happy in my work involves two main things: <span style="font-weight:bold;">loving what I do, and loving the people I work with.</span><br /><br />The second group I consider my <span style="font-weight:bold;">market</span>. So how can I simply and easily identify my market?<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">I start with these questions:</span><br /><span style="font-style:italic;"><br />Who pops up in my brain when I think of who I want to work with? What kind of person do I resonate with? Who can I imagine spending time with? Who in my experience listens to me, values my opinions, asks me for advice and counsel? </span><br /><br />That gives me such a great visual of who is in my market. <br /><br />The second step is to <span style="font-weight:bold;">write down all the descriptive words about these people</span>: Their age and gender, financial situation and education level. Their concerns and hopes, their mindset and how they think, what they value and want out of life, the problems and challenges they face, the needs they have. The first part is <span style="font-style:italic;">"demographics"</span> and the second is <span style="font-style:italic;">"psychographics."</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Hopefully the people you describe are people with whom you will happily spend a lot of hours. </span> If not, they are not your market.<br /><br />Let go of any judgment. <span style="font-weight:bold;">There are no "shoulds" in deciding your market. </span> Either you resonate with these people or you don't. So surrender to what you already know and let yourself move to the next step of building a business - identifying those needs and challenges you want to meet with your product or service.julieannericksonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09394952666669781213noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1570350940226465600.post-57229587231964603392009-10-08T22:14:00.002-04:002009-10-08T22:36:29.687-04:00When Overwhelmed, STOP!Since Saturday, I've had a very bad flu. I'm not surprised that I got sick, when I look back at what my mind set was in the prior weeks. <br /><br />I was feeling overwhelmed. Overwhelmed by good things - opportunities, good results, fun times, creative inspiration, friends. I've cultivated wonderful relationships and pursued great activities. And they are all coming up trumps! This is a good thing. <br /><br />At the same time, however, I've had significant physical pain and a lot of physical tiredness. Yet, because I am so hungry for community and success and results, I have chosen to do things instead of staying home. There were times I could have said "no" and instead said "yes." I stopped listening to my body, my higher self.<br /><br />Then I began to get thoughts like "I just want to sleep" and "I want more time to draw" and "No more phone calls!" And I began to fall into some very old habits - specifically not answering the telephone or returning phone calls.<br /><br />Finally, I got the flu. And so for this entire week, I haven't had to show up for anyone or anything. My job is to heal and get well. My job is to avoid contact with others so I don't pass this on to others.<br /><br />Getting sick is an old, old behavior for me. I get sick because it's a reasonable excuse or reason to be unavailable. It's a legitimate way to get time alone, time off, time with no responsibilities. It used to also be a way to get sympathy from others. That no longer works for me - people may feel sympathetic but I know that I did not have to get sick if I didn't want to get sick.<br /><br />My awareness is so sharp now. What do I take away from this episode? There are a number of lessons:<br /><br />1) When I get the thoughts of "help me escape!," I need to shed obligations. Specifically, I need some time where I am completely unscheduled. <br /><br />2) I am able to do much less than I wish I were able to do. That is my 100%. My 100% is not what anyone else thinks it is. My job is to do my 100%, and to handle what I can handle.<br /><br />3) There is no "right" time frame for me reaching my goals. I am on the path, and will get there. When I feel panicked or rushed, it is a sign that I am gauging my progress by other people's time frames, not my own.<br /><br />My goal in life is to be happy, not to meet anyone else's goals or dreams for me. When I get caught up in someone else's agenda, I lose myself, lose touch with my own rhythm and needs, and create a dis-ease within me - that then manifests as an illness. I haven't been sick for a long time because I've paid attention to myself and keeping myself feeling at ease within myself. That went out the window over the summer, when I got so caught up in the excitement of new friendships and new possibilities. My brain got the better of my gut instinct, that voice that told me I was overwhelmed and needed to SLOW DOWN or STOP.<br /><br />I dislike being sick because I can't do all that I want to do. I wish this week I could have drawn, or picked out paint for my bedroom, maybe cooked some new recipes, repotted plants and cleared out some of the magazine clutter in my dining room and sunroom. Because I was/am sick, I can't do any of those things. I got the peace and quiet at such a high price. <br /><br />Next time, I'll take it easy before I become dis-eased. I know how to be happy; now it's time to put those lessons into effect.julieannericksonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09394952666669781213noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1570350940226465600.post-58133855600417542732009-09-30T14:32:00.002-04:002009-09-30T15:27:04.421-04:00Changing My Beliefs for the BetterPerhaps the most valuable achievement of my life is overcoming old beliefs about myself and my life. I highly recommend doing it. <br /><br />At some point, after years of frustration, I realized that <span style="font-weight:bold;">I could transform my life - that in fact <span style="font-style:italic;">I </span>was the only one who could. </span> I alone had the power to build up a toolbox of ways to create a more fulfilling and happier life. <br /><br />For many years, I didn't know that <span style="font-weight:bold;">I</span> am the one who must decide to do something different. When I realized that I actually have that power - to make the decision and then follow through on it - my life began to look completely different to me. I'll say it again: <span style="font-weight:bold;">I am the one who has the power to have a happier life.</span> No one else. Not my parents, not your friends, not my significant others, not my coach, not anyone else, not even God. It all comes down to ME.<br /><br />I don't know how I finally made that connection - I'd been hearing things like this for years and thinking that it was all BS. Here's how my thinking went:<br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">"That's easy for you to say. But there are too many things out of my control - how can anyone say that my life and how I feel is all up to me? That's just unrealistic, not to mention that it feels like I'm being blamed for how my life is. Do you really think I'd be in this position if I didn't have to be? You're saying I chose this, and all I can think is that I hate being here - how can you say I want this when I am so miserable?"</span><br /><br />I kept thinking about it, though, because I knew that <span style="font-weight:bold;">what I resisted most was probably the area where there was most potential for me to learn and grow</span>. It's those things that I defend myself against that tell me where I hurt, where I have fear, where I think I have something to defend. It became like a puzzle: why AM I so angry when I hear that I am responsible for how my life is? Why do I resist the idea that I create my own life? What pisses me off about the idea that I can tell what I want by looking at my life? And that if I wanted something different, I could have it simply by changing my thoughts? <span style="font-style:italic;">Why</span> am I SO angry about this way of thinking? <br /><br />Certainly, I hated the idea that I had brought bad things down on myself. Why would I do that? It made no sense, and sounded like "blaming the victim." <br /><br />At one point, I put that question on the back burner because I couldn't figure it out. I'd periodically come back to it; in the meantime, <span style="font-weight:bold;">I decided to try some of the tools I was gathering - just to see if they would make any difference.</span> Why not try it? As the saying goes, "contempt prior to examination" will keep me in ignorance. <br /><br />Gradually, I started to notice that I did have the power to make things happen - often for other people instead of myself. However, I did have some power. I started seeing that I could walk away from an argument instead of engaging in it. I could stop indulging in the negative thoughts that plagued me - two were "I'll never have the money I want" and "I just can't get out of debt." Instead I substituted positive thoughts: "I always have all the money I need" and "I am on the path to being fully solvent."<br /><br />I found <span style="font-weight:bold;">I immediately felt better when I said the positive things to myself</span>. I noticed that a heavy weight lifted from my shoulders. I found that I could hold my head up, I didn't feel so much darkness around my eyes. Everything seemed brighter somehow. And I liked feeling better. <span style="font-style:italic;">I allowed myself to like it</span>, to enjoy the feeling of "I'm on my path! I'm headed in the right direction, the direction I really want to go into."<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Finally, I had some evidence that I could make a difference to myself.</span> Finally, I could see that I had some power to improve my life. Had my circumstances materially changed? No. Was I more able to handle the challenges? YES! Because I felt better. I was able to get out of bed, first of all, and then show up for things. And I felt more capable. If I could change my mood with some simple changes in how I talked about a situation, then I could figure out how to deal with external things.<br /><br />Today <span style="font-weight:bold;">I know in my bones that I am in charge of my thoughts, my beliefs, my actions and thus my results - the state of my life</span>. If I ever want to know what I really want, I look at what I'm doing. If I'm not happy with something in my life, I look at what I'm NOT doing. Then I either take the next logical step and action, or look at the beliefs and feelings that are in the way of my taking action. I dig them out, expose them to the air, and examine them to see if there's anything tangible embedded in there about which I can DO something. Again, the process leads to <span style="font-weight:bold;">action</span>.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Conquering my own mind is probably the most difficult thing I've ever done.</span> I just didn't want to accept that there is a connection between my thoughts and beliefs and the circumstances of my life. I didn't want the responsibility, I think. That was the reward for being miserable - that I wasn't really responsible and didn't have to be responsible. I got to stay a kid, I guess.<br /><br />I write all this to say <span style="font-weight:bold;">I KNOW you can make a change in your attitude and beliefs</span>. I've been there. If I can do it, you can do it. Really. I am no different than you, except that I have taken control of my thoughts and you are just starting down that road.<br /><br />Think about what it would mean to put yourself first. Think about what it would take for you to commit to doing something different. Take a risk. <span style="font-weight:bold;">You can make the life you want, if you really want it.</span>julieannericksonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09394952666669781213noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1570350940226465600.post-33016708841505738742009-09-24T13:44:00.003-04:002011-05-17T20:46:55.569-04:00Pace YourselfA new Executive Director of a large NYC non-profit is completely swamped, and is not taking time for coaching - even though she knows it might help her. Here's what I reminded her about:<br />
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<span style="font-style:italic;">"When you started in this position, you and those around you understandably felt like the problems now can finally be solved...and fast! My experience is, however, that anything that doesn't get resolved probably didn't really need to be resolved yet. In fact, as time goes on you'll see that more information will be revealed related to the issues - information that will make even better resolutions possible. <br />
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Remember that it is CRITICAL for you to take care of yourself so you stay centered, solid, calm, and above all don't burn out. Pace yourself. And trust that you will know what to do first. The rest can wait. As long as clients are getting service and you're not being evicted, all other deadlines are fungible."</span><br />
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When I'm off-center, out of balance, over-stressed - I am a terrible leader. I'm not happy and neither are the people around me. Taking care of ourselves and pacing ourselves may seem like a selfish thing to do, and it certainly does anger some people who fail to see a bigger picture. How important is that, though? It's more important to be able to <span style="font-weight:bold;">calmly</span> explain to them what you ARE doing and why, what the other priorities are, and asking them for their help in managing the priorities, expectations and work load.julieannericksonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09394952666669781213noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1570350940226465600.post-45063199314155328572009-09-23T10:04:00.002-04:002009-09-23T10:19:38.040-04:00Motivating Quote from a Funny Man<span style="font-style:italic;">I couldn't wait for success, so I went ahead without it.</span> ~ Jonathan Winters <br /><br />So often I have thought I needed to have something perfected, praised, complete, and DONE before I can unveil it. Meaning I wanted my project or writing or life to be a success BEFORE I go out into the larger world. <br /><br />Of course, nothing is ever totally complete or perfect. Thus, I could wait forever to get in the game of life.<br /><br />What I can do is put myself and my work out there, and expect feedback. Even more, I can welcome feedback, that will allow me to continue improving myself and my product.julieannericksonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09394952666669781213noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1570350940226465600.post-79997177416483621002009-09-16T14:34:00.002-04:002009-09-16T14:48:29.003-04:00What's Your Emotional Set Point?I have reset my natural emotional set point to "happiness." <br /><br />It used to be set for depression and hopelessness. When things were hard or didn't go my way, I immediately thought "I quit!" or "I'll just kill myself." They are sort of extreme responses to what are really small events or occurrences. As the saying goes, "suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem."<br /><br />Over time, I got sick of feeling depressed and hopeless. And I got some perspective and information that enabled me to start to change my attitude, change my mind, choose to be happy. I am no longer willing to feel terrible. And I no longer have to! I am free to be happy.<br /><br />Will I have difficulties and pain? Sure! I'm human, and actually I welcome these feelings. It reminds me I'm a human being, and I also get more material from which to grow. I use the feelings as information about where next I will go on my path. <br /><br />Most important, with a "happiness set point," I now gravitate toward what will make me happy. I am motivated to use the experiences to become happy. It sure feels better than the alternative!<br /><br />Is your emotional set point at happiness? It can be, and it's totally worth it.julieannericksonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09394952666669781213noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1570350940226465600.post-10172647177134529542009-09-16T13:01:00.002-04:002009-09-16T13:43:41.024-04:00Changing a Light BulbLast spring, my amazing brother renovated my sun porch, making it a bright, soothing place for me to write, read and make art. One of the improvements was putting in "can lights" - the overhead spots in the ceiling. <br /><br />Today I changed a light bulb using my telescoping "light bulb changer." It was incredibly easy: turn, turn, turn to remove the old light bulb; then turn, turn, turn to put in the new one. Was I happy?! Yes, I was. I absolutely loved having exactly the right tool for the job.<br /><br />So what is the right tool for you to use on a project today?julieannericksonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09394952666669781213noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1570350940226465600.post-79601207362020672442009-08-24T22:00:00.002-04:002009-08-24T22:07:49.120-04:00Vertical Farming Makes Me SmileWhat an amazing idea! Imagine: Vertical farms in cities, using soil-less and water-frugal growing methods like hydroponics and aeroponics. Dickson D. Despommier, a professor of public health at Columbia University, has written a fantastic Op-Ed piece in the New York Times on just this topic.<br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Hydroponics allows us to grow plants in a water-and-nutrient solution, while aeroponics grows them in a nutrient-laden mist. These methods use far less water than conventional cultivation techniques, in some cases as much as 90 percent less.</span><br /><br />We'd have beautiful glass-clad buildings growing green and red, blue and yellow, purple and orange fruits and vegetables. These rainbows would help city dwellers get healthy and stay healthy. And what a pot of gold for entrepreneurs, markets, chefs, cooks, schools...!<br /><br />I thought green roofs made me happy but this takes to a whole new level the combined concepts of green roofs, urban farms, community gardens, and increased access to fresh food. It's a dream well worth having.julieannericksonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09394952666669781213noreply@blogger.com0