Grow Happy

Business-Building: Identify Your Market

2009-11-10T16:36:00.003-05:00

Being happy in my work involves two main things: loving what I do, and loving the people I work with.

The second group I consider my market. So how can I simply and easily identify my market?

I start with these questions:

Who pops up in my brain when I think of who I want to work with? What kind of person do I resonate with? Who can I imagine spending time with? Who in my experience listens to me, values my opinions, asks me for advice and counsel?

That gives me such a great visual of who is in my market.

The second step is to write down all the descriptive words about these people: Their age and gender, financial situation and education level. Their concerns and hopes, their mindset and how they think, what they value and want out of life, the problems and challenges they face, the needs they have. The first part is "demographics" and the second is "psychographics."

Hopefully the people you describe are people with whom you will happily spend a lot of hours. If not, they are not your market.

Let go of any judgment. There are no "shoulds" in deciding your market. Either you resonate with these people or you don't. So surrender to what you already know and let yourself move to the next step of building a business - identifying those needs and challenges you want to meet with your product or service.

When Overwhelmed, STOP!

2009-10-08T22:14:00.002-04:00

Since Saturday, I've had a very bad flu. I'm not surprised that I got sick, when I look back at what my mind set was in the prior weeks.

I was feeling overwhelmed. Overwhelmed by good things - opportunities, good results, fun times, creative inspiration, friends. I've cultivated wonderful relationships and pursued great activities. And they are all coming up trumps! This is a good thing.

At the same time, however, I've had significant physical pain and a lot of physical tiredness. Yet, because I am so hungry for community and success and results, I have chosen to do things instead of staying home. There were times I could have said "no" and instead said "yes." I stopped listening to my body, my higher self.

Then I began to get thoughts like "I just want to sleep" and "I want more time to draw" and "No more phone calls!" And I began to fall into some very old habits - specifically not answering the telephone or returning phone calls.

Finally, I got the flu. And so for this entire week, I haven't had to show up for anyone or anything. My job is to heal and get well. My job is to avoid contact with others so I don't pass this on to others.

Getting sick is an old, old behavior for me. I get sick because it's a reasonable excuse or reason to be unavailable. It's a legitimate way to get time alone, time off, time with no responsibilities. It used to also be a way to get sympathy from others. That no longer works for me - people may feel sympathetic but I know that I did not have to get sick if I didn't want to get sick.

My awareness is so sharp now. What do I take away from this episode? There are a number of lessons:

1) When I get the thoughts of "help me escape!," I need to shed obligations. Specifically, I need some time where I am completely unscheduled.

2) I am able to do much less than I wish I were able to do. That is my 100%. My 100% is not what anyone else thinks it is. My job is to do my 100%, and to handle what I can handle.

3) There is no "right" time frame for me reaching my goals. I am on the path, and will get there. When I feel panicked or rushed, it is a sign that I am gauging my progress by other people's time frames, not my own.

My goal in life is to be happy, not to meet anyone else's goals or dreams for me. When I get caught up in someone else's agenda, I lose myself, lose touch with my own rhythm and needs, and create a dis-ease within me - that then manifests as an illness. I haven't been sick for a long time because I've paid attention to myself and keeping myself feeling at ease within myself. That went out the window over the summer, when I got so caught up in the excitement of new friendships and new possibilities. My brain got the better of my gut instinct, that voice that told me I was overwhelmed and needed to SLOW DOWN or STOP.

I dislike being sick because I can't do all that I want to do. I wish this week I could have drawn, or picked out paint for my bedroom, maybe cooked some new recipes, repotted plants and cleared out some of the magazine clutter in my dining room and sunroom. Because I was/am sick, I can't do any of those things. I got the peace and quiet at such a high price.

Next time, I'll take it easy before I become dis-eased. I know how to be happy; now it's time to put those lessons into effect.

Changing My Beliefs for the Better

2009-09-30T14:32:00.002-04:00

Perhaps the most valuable achievement of my life is overcoming old beliefs about myself and my life. I highly recommend doing it.

At some point, after years of frustration, I realized that I could transform my life - that in fact I was the only one who could. I alone had the power to build up a toolbox of ways to create a more fulfilling and happier life.

For many years, I didn't know that I am the one who must decide to do something different. When I realized that I actually have that power - to make the decision and then follow through on it - my life began to look completely different to me. I'll say it again: I am the one who has the power to have a happier life. No one else. Not my parents, not your friends, not my significant others, not my coach, not anyone else, not even God. It all comes down to ME.

I don't know how I finally made that connection - I'd been hearing things like this for years and thinking that it was all BS. Here's how my thinking went:

"That's easy for you to say. But there are too many things out of my control - how can anyone say that my life and how I feel is all up to me? That's just unrealistic, not to mention that it feels like I'm being blamed for how my life is. Do you really think I'd be in this position if I didn't have to be? You're saying I chose this, and all I can think is that I hate being here - how can you say I want this when I am so miserable?"

I kept thinking about it, though, because I knew that what I resisted most was probably the area where there was most potential for me to learn and grow. It's those things that I defend myself against that tell me where I hurt, where I have fear, where I think I have something to defend. It became like a puzzle: why AM I so angry when I hear that I am responsible for how my life is? Why do I resist the idea that I create my own life? What pisses me off about the idea that I can tell what I want by looking at my life? And that if I wanted something different, I could have it simply by changing my thoughts? Why am I SO angry about this way of thinking?

Certainly, I hated the idea that I had brought bad things down on myself. Why would I do that? It made no sense, and sounded like "blaming the victim."

At one point, I put that question on the back burner because I couldn't figure it out. I'd periodically come back to it; in the meantime, I decided to try some of the tools I was gathering - just to see if they would make any difference. Why not try it? As the saying goes, "contempt prior to examination" will keep me in ignorance.

Gradually, I started to notice that I did have the power to make things happen - often for other people instead of myself. However, I did have some power. I started seeing that I could walk away from an argument instead of engaging in it. I could stop indulging in the negative thoughts that plagued me - two were "I'll never have the money I want" and "I just can't get out of debt." Instead I substituted positive thoughts: "I always have all the money I need" and "I am on the path to being fully solvent."

I found I immediately felt better when I said the positive things to myself. I noticed that a heavy weight lifted from my shoulders. I found that I could hold my head up, I didn't feel so much darkness around my eyes. Everything seemed brighter somehow. And I liked feeling better. I allowed myself to like it, to enjoy the feeling of "I'm on my path! I'm headed in the right direction, the direction I really want to go into."

Finally, I had some evidence that I could make a difference to myself. Finally, I could see that I had some power to improve my life. Had my circumstances materially changed? No. Was I more able to handle the challenges? YES! Because I felt better. I was able to get out of bed, first of all, and then show up for things. And I felt more capable. If I could change my mood with some simple changes in how I talked about a situation, then I could figure out how to deal with external things.

Today I know in my bones that I am in charge of my thoughts, my beliefs, my actions and thus my results - the state of my life. If I ever want to know what I really want, I look at what I'm doing. If I'm not happy with something in my life, I look at what I'm NOT doing. Then I either take the next logical step and action, or look at the beliefs and feelings that are in the way of my taking action. I dig them out, expose them to the air, and examine them to see if there's anything tangible embedded in there about which I can DO something. Again, the process leads to action.

Conquering my own mind is probably the most difficult thing I've ever done. I just didn't want to accept that there is a connection between my thoughts and beliefs and the circumstances of my life. I didn't want the responsibility, I think. That was the reward for being miserable - that I wasn't really responsible and didn't have to be responsible. I got to stay a kid, I guess.

I write all this to say I KNOW you can make a change in your attitude and beliefs. I've been there. If I can do it, you can do it. Really. I am no different than you, except that I have taken control of my thoughts and you are just starting down that road.

Think about what it would mean to put yourself first. Think about what it would take for you to commit to doing something different. Take a risk. You can make the life you want, if you really want it.

Pace Yourself

2009-09-24T13:44:00.002-04:00

A new Executive Director of a large NYC non-profit is completely swamped, and is not taking time for coaching - even though she knows it might help her. Here's what I reminded her about:

"When you started in this position, you and those around you understandably felt like the problems now can finally be solved...and fast! My experience is, however, that anything that doesn't get resolved probably didn't really need to be resolved yet. In fact, as time goes on you'll see that more information will be revealed related to the issues - information that will make even better resolutions possible.

Remember that it is CRITICAL for you to take care of yourself so you stay centered, solid, calm, and above all don't burn out. Pace yourself. And trust that you will know what to do first. The rest can wait. As long as clients are getting service and you're not being evicted, all other deadlines are fungible."

When I'm off-center, out of balance, over-stressed - I am a terrible leader. I'm not happy and neither are the people around me. Taking care of ourselves and pacing ourselves may seem like a selfish thing to do, and it certainly does anger some people who fail to see a bigger picture. How important is that, though? It's more important to be able to calmly explain to them what you ARE doing and why, what the other priorities are, and asking them for their help in managing the priorities, expectations and work load.

Motivating Quote from a Funny Man

2009-09-23T10:04:00.002-04:00

I couldn't wait for success, so I went ahead without it. ~ Jonathan Winters

So often I have thought I needed to have something perfected, praised, complete, and DONE before I can unveil it. Meaning I wanted my project or writing or life to be a success BEFORE I go out into the larger world.

Of course, nothing is ever totally complete or perfect. Thus, I could wait forever to get in the game of life.

What I can do is put myself and my work out there, and expect feedback. Even more, I can welcome feedback, that will allow me to continue improving myself and my product.

What's Your Emotional Set Point?

2009-09-16T14:34:00.002-04:00

I have reset my natural emotional set point to "happiness."

It used to be set for depression and hopelessness. When things were hard or didn't go my way, I immediately thought "I quit!" or "I'll just kill myself." They are sort of extreme responses to what are really small events or occurrences. As the saying goes, "suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem."

Over time, I got sick of feeling depressed and hopeless. And I got some perspective and information that enabled me to start to change my attitude, change my mind, choose to be happy. I am no longer willing to feel terrible. And I no longer have to! I am free to be happy.

Will I have difficulties and pain? Sure! I'm human, and actually I welcome these feelings. It reminds me I'm a human being, and I also get more material from which to grow. I use the feelings as information about where next I will go on my path.

Most important, with a "happiness set point," I now gravitate toward what will make me happy. I am motivated to use the experiences to become happy. It sure feels better than the alternative!

Is your emotional set point at happiness? It can be, and it's totally worth it.

Changing a Light Bulb

2009-09-16T13:01:00.002-04:00

Last spring, my amazing brother renovated my sun porch, making it a bright, soothing place for me to write, read and make art. One of the improvements was putting in "can lights" - the overhead spots in the ceiling.

Today I changed a light bulb using my telescoping "light bulb changer." It was incredibly easy: turn, turn, turn to remove the old light bulb; then turn, turn, turn to put in the new one. Was I happy?! Yes, I was. I absolutely loved having exactly the right tool for the job.

So what is the right tool for you to use on a project today?

Vertical Farming Makes Me Smile

2009-08-24T22:00:00.002-04:00

What an amazing idea! Imagine: Vertical farms in cities, using soil-less and water-frugal growing methods like hydroponics and aeroponics. Dickson D. Despommier, a professor of public health at Columbia University, has written a fantastic Op-Ed piece in the New York Times on just this topic.

Hydroponics allows us to grow plants in a water-and-nutrient solution, while aeroponics grows them in a nutrient-laden mist. These methods use far less water than conventional cultivation techniques, in some cases as much as 90 percent less.

We'd have beautiful glass-clad buildings growing green and red, blue and yellow, purple and orange fruits and vegetables. These rainbows would help city dwellers get healthy and stay healthy. And what a pot of gold for entrepreneurs, markets, chefs, cooks, schools...!

I thought green roofs made me happy but this takes to a whole new level the combined concepts of green roofs, urban farms, community gardens, and increased access to fresh food. It's a dream well worth having.

Celebrating Ben Franklin

2009-07-31T15:34:00.002-04:00

Ben Franklin was to the United States and the world what Leonardo DaVinci was to the Renaissance and the world. Maira Kalman's visual blog celebrates invention and invites us to do the same.

We are Perfect, Now

2009-07-30T17:36:00.001-04:00

God is the way out. Ultimately Reality awaits us there, in the arms of God. Yet to embrace God, we must embrace ourselves -- for we are One and the Same. We must love ourselves exactly the way we are. We must tell ourselves that it is okay just to be us; just to be who, and how, we are. We must tell ourselves that we are perfect, in the very way we are "showing up" today. There is nothing to be fixed, nothing to be corrected, nothing to be improved. We must understand that the path we are taking, and the way we are taking it, is perfect.

- Neale Donald Walsch, e-mail on December 3, 2006

Using Experiences to Grow

2009-07-26T14:36:00.002-04:00

In the depths of winter, I finally found there was in me an invincible summer.

- Albert Camus, author

Hard times can yield great strength. I think of the weed that grows from concrete - what a hard task that is! And yet there it is green and flourishing and constantly growing back no matter what we try to do to eradicate it. It is strong perhaps because of the adversity. When I expect an end to the trial and look for the light resulting from it - I have hope and greater ability to accept my response to the difficulty as a part of the growing and strengthening process.

How you do anything is how you do everything

2009-07-26T14:33:00.001-04:00

Don't be afraid to give your best at what seemingly are small jobs. Every time you conquer one it makes you that much stronger. If you do the little jobs well, the big ones will tend to take care of themselves.

- Dale Carnegie

Concrete Ideas for Reducing Fear of Failure

2009-07-15T10:33:00.002-04:00

For all of us afraid of "failing," I found this great little article: Secrets for Turning Failure Into Success. It contains the most useful ideas I've seen in a long time on how to recast failure as an asset and a goal instead of something to be avoided.

I'm going to try some of them, like "Set 'No' Goals" and "Intentionally Increase Your Failure Rate." Pretty radical reformulation of failure, isn't it?

It fits completely into my philosophy of using every experience as a learning opportunity and a chance to help other people. The more I "fail," the more I learn and the closer I am to my own goals.

This is what I mean when I say "if it's worth doing, it's worth doing badly." I'm learning as I take action, and action moves me further along my path, leaving no chance for stagnation, entropy, stuck-ness.

My message to a VERY unhappy woman

2009-07-14T17:58:00.000-04:00

I am glad we had a chance to talk and to hear that you are still keeping on keeping on. Sometimes life does feel like a slog.

Perhaps you do need to make a radical change. Consider some of the possible radical changes you could make, and weigh the options. Just a reminder: radical change can involve actions, attitudes and situations. Everything is a choice and I've found that I feel less "at the mercy of" when I actively make a choice instead of feeling like I'm powerless and just have to submit.

I hear a lot of powerlessness in your venting, and I'm hopeful that by venting, you release some of that powerlessness and see that you are making choices. Yes, your choices are limited by circumstance. And yes, that sucks.

So what are you going to do about it? Choose how you want to feel. Choose how you want to talk about your life. Choose how you're going to approach your circumstances. Choose the goal toward which you're working. That means to articulate it - what ARE you working toward? Financial independence is not enough. What is your PURPOSE for being here on earth? And how are you fulfilling it?

Gurus

2009-07-09T11:52:00.002-04:00

Someone told me "guru" spelled out is "gee, you are you."

AHA! This coincides with my belief that real gurus hold mirrors up so we can see ourselves clearly. They encourage us to find our own path, rather than blindly following theirs. Gurus have found a way that works for THEM. I can learn and use their tools and truths without giving over my being and power of choice.

Any guru who insists that I do everything the way they say is simply after power over me and others. True gurus help me learn how to find my own internal power, to govern myself according to my own life circumstances and the many universal truths and values I learn to live by.

Choosing my perspective

2009-07-08T17:48:00.001-04:00

I'm building a new life based on the lessons I've learned over the past few years - and I'm not done yet. My perspective is that I'm fortunate to be someone who can learn, who can pick myself up, who can keep going and turn my fear and sadness into motivation. I don't deny my feelings, I channel and use them to keep me going on my path. And I choose to focus on all the positive aspects of my path - that by going through all I've experienced, I get to help other people who are on similar paths, facing similar challenges.

Starting with Twitter

2009-06-16T17:08:00.003-04:00

SIGNING UP FOR TWITTER
* Go to http://www.twitter.com
* Click on "Get Started" field
* Follow directions: enter your full name, then your desired user name and password. Twitter will tell you if your user name is available and if your password is long enough, weak or OK.
* Enter your e-mail address
* Type in the words you see in the box. If you can't read them, just click to get two new ones until you can read them and enter them.
* Click on the box "Create my account"

You'll then be taken to a page where you can find if your e-mail contacts are on Twitter. If you want, you can skip this step. If you want to see if your pals are tweeting, you will sign in using your e-mail user name and password - not your Twitter user name and password. Enter your password and hit "enter."

If you skip that step, you'll reach a page titled "Look who else is here. Start following them!" You also can skip this step by clicking "skip this step" at the bottom of the page. If you instead hit "finish" you will have automatically followed everyone listed. The people listed are either celebrities, news organizations or tweeters with lots of followers.

The default is to "Select All" so if you want to select only some, you need to click on the "select all" button to unselect everyone and then scroll through to manually the people (or tweeps, twitter peeps) you want to follow. The reason to select at least some people to follow is to begin getting tweets on your Twitter page (also known as your Twitterstream).

If you don't select anyone to follow at this stage, you still have many opportunities to find people to follow. I'll describe the mechanisms later in this post.

Click "finish" when you are done. You will then be taken to your very own Twitter page.

There will be a default avatar (picture icon). Click on it to be taken to a page where you can add your own picture. After uploading and saving your preferred photograph, you will see that you can also look at "Settings" and change the color or design of your background.

Once you are on your home page, you can begin "tweeting." Tweets are the name given to your updates. Updates are 140 characters long. That includes spaces and punctuation.

On the Twitter home page is a large text box underneath the question "What are you doing?" On its upper right is the number "140" in gray. As you type your message, you will observe the number declining. As you approach the 140-character limit, the color of the number changes gradually to bright red until you reach "0" characters remaining. If you exceed the 140-character limit, you will see a negative red number. As you edit your tweet, the number will reflect the number of characters you have left.

Great tweets are any length. When I started, I used up all 140 characters. Now I try to keep my tweets at 120 characters or less.

The reason for tweets shorter than 140 characters is to allow my followers to "Retweet" or "RT" them. When someone retweets my tweet, they are passing it on to their network of followers. The retweet includes the characters RT, my user name preceded by the @ sign (as in @juliaerickson), a colon and a space. It looks like this: RT @juliaerickson: followed by the message. That takes up 19 characters right away.

If I want someone to get the full meaning of my tweet when they see it retweeted, I need to keep my tweet at 120 characters or less. Less is good because then the retweeter (RTer) can make a comment, such as "Yes!" or "ditto" or "I agree" or "fun" or whatever endorsement or additional thought they have.

Tweet topics range from the ridiculous to the sublime with the mundane and useful being most common. Because I want to drive traffic to my blog helping job seekers, I have a standard message that I tweet several times a day. It is "job search tools and guidance that really work at http://ow.ly/4RLP (julieannerickson.blogspot.com)" with no period at the end (why waste characters?). I also tweet about a charity that I support, at least once a day. It is "click 2 feed hungry http://thehungersite.com + help child health, literacy, rainforest, animals, mammograms - no cost 2 u" also with no period at the end.

These two tweets tend to be retweeted often, I think because they provide some kind of value or good to the "twitterverse." Other things that are often retweeted: funny tweets, inspirational quotes, hot news items (e.g. lots of tweets and RTs today and yesterday about the Iran election), contests, and charity-related tweets.

Why is retweeting important? It's a way to expand your twitterverse, specifically to increase the number of followers you have. And why do you want more followers? To reach more people with your messages.

Retweeting is also a way to develop relationships. If you RT someone, they usually thank you for RTing them, because you are spreading their message and identity/brand to your network of followers. It's like doing someone a favor or them doing one for you. You start to develop a sense of people, who they are, whether they are generous or not, whether you want to interact with them more often.

“You Need 4 Things to Profit from Twitter”

You need followers.

No matter how compelling your Tweets, if nobody is following you, nobody will read them. To create a steady flow of visitors to your site and profits, you need thousands of followers.

You need readers.

Having followers only builds your ego, not your bank account. If you want to make a profit you need to have followers that are actually reading your tweets.

You need credibility.

If you want people to respond to your tweets and take the actions that put money in your pocket, you have to be someone those readers trust.

You need products.

Nobody makes a profit until someone buys something.

http://www.crn.com/it-channel/217900164;jsessionid=BMUEDS3SZECJ4QSNDLOSKH0CJUNN2JVN Dissecting Twitter's Role In Tech, Society, Politics 140 Characters Conference in New York, led by entrepreneur and tech pioneer Jeff Pulver,

More on Twitter

2009-06-16T12:16:00.002-04:00

People often have visceral negative reactions against Twitter. They don’t get it and thus may condemn it. Tim Berry has a great blog post on the topic Twitter Pitter Patter Twop: Hating Twitter.

People ask me “why are you on Twitter?” I tell them that it’s like the office water cooler for stay/work-at-homes like me, that it helps me make people aware of my blog and drives traffic there so I can help more people, and that I get lots of great information about my field and the world. These reasons make sense to them. When they understand why I tweet, they stop being so judgmental about it. I explain that it’s a tool that I use as part of my business model.

While they still don’t understand why THEY might tweet, every single one asks me to help them get on Twitter. It takes about five minutes. I'll explain how in my next post.

I think context is incredibly important to Twitter. If you have a reason to tweet - to drive traffic, to publicize a project or book, to hire someone, to spread news, to market a product, to handle customer complaints, to raise your public profile - then you end up embracing it.

Twitter does take time. Is it a time waster? Only if we let it be…as with every single other business tool and task there is in this world of ours.

Twitter

2009-06-15T14:04:00.002-04:00

People ask me "why are you on Twitter?"

My answers:

1) it is like the office water cooler for work/stay-at-home people like me so I don't feel so isolated

2) Twitter helps me drive traffic to my blog so I am able to help more people with their work issues.

3) I get great information to pass on to people looking for jobs, or guidance to become better leaders and workers.

4) My universe is larger because of the people with whom I interact, who tweet regularly, who post funny, odd, interesting, pertinent and personal information.

Positive thoughts & tweets

2009-06-15T13:47:00.002-04:00

I get tired of negative, angry, grinding axes...so I am the change I want to see. That means not complaining about other people's negative and angry thoughts and attitudes. Those are none of my business.

My business is to focus on positive things, have a positive attitude, look for the good in everyone and everything, and emit kindness and love. At least this is what I have control over. I don't always FEEL positive, yet I end up feeling better when I focus on what's good in the world instead of what's not.

Is it wrong for me to love grammar so much?

2009-05-27T22:13:00.002-04:00

I loved reading the post reached by clicking on this post's title, and the nearly 500 comments it occasioned. Many comments are substantive, and often I laughed out loud reading them. Language is so much fun! I enjoy knowing the "right way" to use words and grammar, and am equally pleased to laugh at my own pedantry.

Actions Speak Loudly

2009-05-27T21:12:00.000-04:00

My actions tell me exactly what I want; if I truly want something, I take actions toward it. Or I don't really want it.

New Job Search Sites

2009-05-11T21:21:00.003-04:00

Twitter-related Job Search

Tweetmyjobs.com is a new service that brings recruiters, hiring managers and job seekers together on Twitter. There are Twitter Channels for major cities and job types, and it's really easy to subscribe to those channels. They send job notices as text messages to your cell phone, and you can follow them on Twitter. They also send e-mail notices. They say they will "showcase US Stimulus Jobs."

Green Jobs

From our friends at Mother Earth News comes greatgreencareers.com to help you find meaningful work in the new green economy. Per their site:

All job seeker services are absolutely free. And remember, if you post your resume in the next 30 days, we’ll send you a complimentary copy of Finding a Green Collar Job, our new e-book!

Sustainlane.com/green-jobs is the job search function on Sustain Lane, the "People-Powered Sustainability Guide." You can search hundreds of listings on their "green-collar jobs board."

Job-hunt.org has a great list of green industry job search resources - job boards and "green color" employers. Job boards include EcoEmploy, Green Career Central, Greenjobs, GreenDreamJobs, PowerPlantPro, Renewable Energy World, Environmental Career Opportunities and Solar Jobs. "See Job-Hunt's state jobs pages for links to many more employers in each state, including those specializing in the green industry."

Hospitality Jobs

Hcareers.com has a great line-up of jobs throughout the hospitality industry, including hotels, restaurants, catering, tourism, and more.

Hospitalityonline.com is another site with hospitality jobs nationally.

Don't "Should" on Yourself

2009-05-11T21:19:00.000-04:00

When I let go of what and who I think I should be, I can accept who I am and become who I am meant to be.

Affirmation:

2009-05-05T10:39:00.000-04:00

I am safe and strong at my healthy weight.