Who would have thought this sentiment could come from from the guy who seems to have invented existentialism and nihilism?
"Much more happiness is to be found in the world than gloomy eyes discover." Friedrich Nietzsche
The point is made yet again: it's our attitude that matters!
Optimism comes from the Latin word optimus, meaning "best." So it's our choice to look for the best in life's happenings.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
The Habit of Self-Denigration
Today, I spoke to 2 women who are doing so much in their lives. Yet both feel terrible about themselves. One is depressed, and the other is looking at what she hasn't done. When I point out to each of them how successful they are in certain areas, they seem to automatically contradict me or point out something they haven't done.
It's the "automatic" part that makes me suspect that these women are in the habit of feeling bad about themselves - at least in some part.
I know the habit of self-denigration very well in my experience, and it is a VERY hard one to break. How do you do it?
Start with awareness. Be aware that you do it. Notice when you put yourself down. That's the first step toward change.
Then accept that you do put yourself down. A little bit of understanding "why" helps.
Mostly though, it's important to switch thoughts. If you catch yourself doing it, stop. Substitute a positive thought. For example, if you catch yourself saying "I'm so lazy," instead try saying "I'm so silly for thinking I'm lazy!" or "I must be tired because if I had energy, I'd do it" or "maybe I don't want to do this thing, that's why I'm not doing it." Just try it!
It's the "automatic" part that makes me suspect that these women are in the habit of feeling bad about themselves - at least in some part.
I know the habit of self-denigration very well in my experience, and it is a VERY hard one to break. How do you do it?
Start with awareness. Be aware that you do it. Notice when you put yourself down. That's the first step toward change.
Then accept that you do put yourself down. A little bit of understanding "why" helps.
Mostly though, it's important to switch thoughts. If you catch yourself doing it, stop. Substitute a positive thought. For example, if you catch yourself saying "I'm so lazy," instead try saying "I'm so silly for thinking I'm lazy!" or "I must be tired because if I had energy, I'd do it" or "maybe I don't want to do this thing, that's why I'm not doing it." Just try it!
Friday, October 17, 2008
Attitude is just about everything
There is little difference in people, but that little difference makes a big difference. The little difference is attitude. The big difference is whether it is positive or negative.
~W. Clement Stone
~W. Clement Stone
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Reaching a Healthy Weight
Check out Sparkpeople.com if you want to get to a healthy weight. I'm finding that it is helping me articulate and then make progress toward my goals.
Focusing on reaching a healthy weight is so much more empowering than "trying to lose weight." Who wants to be a loser? Not me! And that's probably why I have been unsuccessful in previous "weight loss" campaigns.
Rob Riopel from Peak Potentials said at a seminar that he doesn't like to talk about losing weight because we usually try to find what we lose. And I always find my lost weight again. He suggested reframing it as "releasing weight." That made so much sense to me.
Now, I catch myself saying "losing" weight and realize it feels so depressed and "loser-like" - no longer feels natural. I much prefer thinking of it as letting go and releasing of weight I no longer need.
In my early 30's, I put on a lot of weight when I worked for a government agency and few people respected me. I needed to be able to "throw my weight around" plus eating seemed to soothe my anxiety and stress.
It occurs to me, as well, that the phrase "gained weight" is not useful for me. "Gains" are usually positive. However, in my case, adding on weight was not a positive thing. It was putting on a disguise, a shield, some armor to protect myself from the outside world that felt hostile and unfriendly. So the weight was not really a "gain" - it was protection and a burden. So maybe a better term is "took on weight."
Today, I don't need to take on any more weight or burdens. I can shed or let go of excess in all areas of life - from clutter to pounds, from ill-fitting clothes to random stuff.
It's a relief to talk about my weight - something of which I've been ashamed. So I am letting go of the shame - yet another unnecessary burden.
Focusing on reaching a healthy weight is so much more empowering than "trying to lose weight." Who wants to be a loser? Not me! And that's probably why I have been unsuccessful in previous "weight loss" campaigns.
Rob Riopel from Peak Potentials said at a seminar that he doesn't like to talk about losing weight because we usually try to find what we lose. And I always find my lost weight again. He suggested reframing it as "releasing weight." That made so much sense to me.
Now, I catch myself saying "losing" weight and realize it feels so depressed and "loser-like" - no longer feels natural. I much prefer thinking of it as letting go and releasing of weight I no longer need.
In my early 30's, I put on a lot of weight when I worked for a government agency and few people respected me. I needed to be able to "throw my weight around" plus eating seemed to soothe my anxiety and stress.
It occurs to me, as well, that the phrase "gained weight" is not useful for me. "Gains" are usually positive. However, in my case, adding on weight was not a positive thing. It was putting on a disguise, a shield, some armor to protect myself from the outside world that felt hostile and unfriendly. So the weight was not really a "gain" - it was protection and a burden. So maybe a better term is "took on weight."
Today, I don't need to take on any more weight or burdens. I can shed or let go of excess in all areas of life - from clutter to pounds, from ill-fitting clothes to random stuff.
It's a relief to talk about my weight - something of which I've been ashamed. So I am letting go of the shame - yet another unnecessary burden.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Nelson Mandela quote
This is an amazing quote that tells me to be fully myself, as powerful as I am and can be.
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
Focus especially on making choices that move you toward your greatness, your power. Sometimes I know I am headed in that direction because some others around me get upset. As long as I stay in my own power, sure and confident in my decision, these others get the opportunity to conquer their fear and anger. My sureness and confidence allows me to be loving and compassionate toward them, rather than upset at their upset. The love I extend feels safe and can help dissipate fear.
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
Focus especially on making choices that move you toward your greatness, your power. Sometimes I know I am headed in that direction because some others around me get upset. As long as I stay in my own power, sure and confident in my decision, these others get the opportunity to conquer their fear and anger. My sureness and confidence allows me to be loving and compassionate toward them, rather than upset at their upset. The love I extend feels safe and can help dissipate fear.
Friday, October 3, 2008
ONE GOAL - Great advice from BizWeb E-gazette (with my added comments)
Here's a great answer to the question of "why am I not making money on the web?" I apply this answer to other questions like "why am I not reaching my goals?" and "I keep trying, but I'm not succeeding - why?"
The first thing you need to do is focus your efforts to a SINGLE project. For most people that starts with minimizing information overload and paralysis by analysis.
Reduce the number of newsletters and ebooks you read each week. Do not worry about losing out on the latest information. Chances are, you already have enough information to put yourself on the path to success if you just use whatever you've got now instead of perpetually reading, studying and learning the so-called latest method in internet marketing.
Do you think the gurus got to where they are by constantly reading e-books without doing actual marketing?
Spend your time such that it gives maximum returns everyday. Maximum returns are NOT attained from reading e-books, watching videos and listening to podcasts. You don't make any money doing those activities.
Sure, learning is essential but if you spend too much time on educating yourself, you can actually minimize your income potential. So set aside just two hours every Friday for those learning activities.
The next step is to start spending ALL of your other work time doing tasks that actually make you money.
I'll add that it's beneficial to focus on ONE GOAL instead of several. Work toward that one goal.
First, of course, we need to settle on that ONE GOAL. Choosing sometimes seems impossible.
My experience is that when I focus on ONE GOAL, I start to experience success in that area. That success provides more motivation for me to keep working at that ONE GOAL. Eventually, this success feeds my motivation and energy to tackle another goal.
Selecting the ONE GOAL can be difficult. I try to determine what's most important to me RIGHT NOW.
* Am I worried about money, afraid I won't be able to pay my bills or retire in the future? Then the ONE GOAL is to achieve financial stability.
* Am I overweight and worried about my health because of it? Am I afraid I'll get diabetes or have a heart attack or stroke sometime in the future? Then my ONE GOAL is to release my extra weight, to let it go!
Essentially I know enough to do almost anything. If I don't, I can set aside some time to learn more. Also I can learn from my experiences from doing. So I just take action - the next step.
Check out Bizweb2000 for more info.
The first thing you need to do is focus your efforts to a SINGLE project. For most people that starts with minimizing information overload and paralysis by analysis.
Reduce the number of newsletters and ebooks you read each week. Do not worry about losing out on the latest information. Chances are, you already have enough information to put yourself on the path to success if you just use whatever you've got now instead of perpetually reading, studying and learning the so-called latest method in internet marketing.
Do you think the gurus got to where they are by constantly reading e-books without doing actual marketing?
Spend your time such that it gives maximum returns everyday. Maximum returns are NOT attained from reading e-books, watching videos and listening to podcasts. You don't make any money doing those activities.
Sure, learning is essential but if you spend too much time on educating yourself, you can actually minimize your income potential. So set aside just two hours every Friday for those learning activities.
The next step is to start spending ALL of your other work time doing tasks that actually make you money.
I'll add that it's beneficial to focus on ONE GOAL instead of several. Work toward that one goal.
First, of course, we need to settle on that ONE GOAL. Choosing sometimes seems impossible.
My experience is that when I focus on ONE GOAL, I start to experience success in that area. That success provides more motivation for me to keep working at that ONE GOAL. Eventually, this success feeds my motivation and energy to tackle another goal.
Selecting the ONE GOAL can be difficult. I try to determine what's most important to me RIGHT NOW.
* Am I worried about money, afraid I won't be able to pay my bills or retire in the future? Then the ONE GOAL is to achieve financial stability.
* Am I overweight and worried about my health because of it? Am I afraid I'll get diabetes or have a heart attack or stroke sometime in the future? Then my ONE GOAL is to release my extra weight, to let it go!
Essentially I know enough to do almost anything. If I don't, I can set aside some time to learn more. Also I can learn from my experiences from doing. So I just take action - the next step.
Check out Bizweb2000 for more info.
Worthy of Love by Karen Casey
I have to share this amazing passage. It brought tears to my eyes with its simple and powerful message.
The salvation of man is through love and in love.
--Viktor Frankl
The panhandler on the busy street corner reels forsaken. The elderly woman whose phone doesn't ring stares through a gap in her drawn drapes and wonders if she's been forgotten. And awaiting the prayed for visit from a potential foster parent, the child is fearfully certain he won't be acceptable.
The tragedy is that so few of us have experienced whole and unconditional love from the significant people in our lives. So few of us are certain of our value in the lives of others. For parents and teachers we performed to earn their favor. From friends we expected acceptance, yet sometimes we bought it. And because we haven't known the pleasure of unconditional love but have been perpetually in search of it, we've not felt adequate to offer it to others. It's difficult to give away what we fear we don't have; yet, paradoxically, that's the key to our salvation.
As we give others our love, we'll likewise experience a greater measure of it. And it need not come from outside. It will, instead, well up from within. We each have the power of personal salvation. All we must do is love.
From Worthy of Love by Karen Casey
The salvation of man is through love and in love.
--Viktor Frankl
The panhandler on the busy street corner reels forsaken. The elderly woman whose phone doesn't ring stares through a gap in her drawn drapes and wonders if she's been forgotten. And awaiting the prayed for visit from a potential foster parent, the child is fearfully certain he won't be acceptable.
The tragedy is that so few of us have experienced whole and unconditional love from the significant people in our lives. So few of us are certain of our value in the lives of others. For parents and teachers we performed to earn their favor. From friends we expected acceptance, yet sometimes we bought it. And because we haven't known the pleasure of unconditional love but have been perpetually in search of it, we've not felt adequate to offer it to others. It's difficult to give away what we fear we don't have; yet, paradoxically, that's the key to our salvation.
As we give others our love, we'll likewise experience a greater measure of it. And it need not come from outside. It will, instead, well up from within. We each have the power of personal salvation. All we must do is love.
From Worthy of Love by Karen Casey
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