Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Envy is a soul-destroyer

Having experienced envy and been the focus of envy, I get how destructive it is.

Envy usually appears in my hating someone who has an asset that makes them stand out. It's a signal to me that I need to look at my own life, and that I probably want that thing in my life.

Rather than want to take it away from them because I don't have it, I need to focus on being grateful for what I already have and do.

I can also start working on developing that quality or ability, if it's within my reach. If I can't, then stop comparing myself to others - I will always come up short when I do that. Today, I choose not to be so unhappy.

Friday, April 24, 2009


YET - stands for You'll Experience This.

Set your intention and have faith that you will realize it. If it hasn't happened, it just hasn't happened yet.

That's the promise of Y.E.T.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

using Twitter happily

Great "don'ts" for using Twitter. I totally ignore one of them - tweet no more than 5 times an hour or 10 times a day. Sometimes I just can't help myself. It's an addiction...what can I say?

Monday, April 13, 2009

New Green Jobs search site

From our friends at Mother Earth News comes greatgreencareers.com to help you find meaningful work in the new green economy. Per their site:

All job seeker services are absolutely free. And remember, if you post your resume in the next 30 days, we’ll send you a complimentary copy of Finding a Green Collar Job, our new e-book!

Managing Up - a boss, a Board member, any authority figure - even co-workers!

Click the title of this post for a great article on how the author's 4 year old daughter provides examples of how to manage up.

I'm especially impressed because the 4 year old is not manipulating her mother, she's simply doing what works to get the results she wants. She's paid attention and is using information strategically to improve her chances for success. I also note that she has multiple desirable outcomes, one of which is to maintain harmony with her mother. Perhaps that's the most important one.

Sometimes I suggest that people behave strategically at work to improve their relationships with bosses and co-workers, and my listener objects because it feels inauthentic and manipulative.

I don't buy that interpretation. If you're an unethical person, you won't be concerned about that in the first place. I think it's simply hard to change one's behavior. It's easier to object on so-called moral grounds than to actually observe oneself and do something different.

When you adjust your own behavior, you are exercising control over yourself. You still have no control over the other person's behavior or attitude. My experience is that if I'm trying to get something over on the other person that doesn't make good sense, then all my sweetness and light will come to naught. My nice attitude, delivery and behavior is more likely to get me a hearing and to result in cordiality all around in the event of a "no." That's it, though. It won't necessarily get me what I want.

Me, I'm always happy when things end cordially. I'd rather have that outcome than hard feelings, or a situation where I may say or do things I'm ashamed of later. If managing my own behavior can achieve that outcome, then I will do what it takes to achieve harmony.