Sunday, October 30, 2011

Shedding Pounds Again

I hate losing weight. I like shedding pounds. I like releasing unnecessary pounds. I like freeing my body from the burden of weight I no longer want or need. So I'm back on the HCG diet. It's my third round and this time is surprisingly serene. I am simply taking it a day at a time, taking the homeopathic drops, eating according to the plan, and trusting the process. I'm using the scale as a way to record change, rather than as a scorekeeper. The second time I did the HCG diet, it was REALLY hard. I struggled every day against urges to eat. I used that scale as a scoreboard. I was obsessed with getting below a specific number on the scale. I was determined to LOSE THIS WEIGHT. It was torture. I did reach my pound goal, yet immediately on ending the diet, went back to eating sugar and other caloric things. I gained back half the weight I had lost. I found it again! This time is different. I got completely off sugar a few months ago for other reasons than weight, so I don't have that temptation or detoxing to contend with. And I guess I just am going with the program day by day instead of being focused on the end result. Whatever I release, I release. I'm good with whatever I see on the scale at the end of the 23 days. I know that if I follow the program, I will shed pounds. So I trust the process. It's the journey, not the destination, that motivates me this time.

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